I think I’m going through an early quarter-life crisis. Things I used to value don’t matter as much anymore. The opposite is true too, things I didn’t use to value now matter more. Revelations yo.
The other day, I woke up with a sudden desire to dye my hair. I’ve always been the au naturale kinda gal so hair dye was a little foolish to me. Like why would you want to denature the proteins in your hair for appearance? I could never wrap my head around it. Then out of nowhere, with no gradual change in interest, I woke up with the biggest impulse to dye my hair. Within an hour, I already pinned a bajillion pics, found some top-notch Vancouver hair stylists through Instagram and called like 3 salons for consultations. So weird.
I want to go out. I want to go to a pub/club kinda thing. I want to blast my eardrumbs with loud electronic music that the youngins listen to these days (which I haaate) and dance (if you can even call it that) with a bunch of random sweaty people. Like what? Hooold up. I’ve always been the stay-at-home-all-day-in-my-pjs-with-a-family-sized-pack-of-chips kinda person. Going out tired me. Talking to people tired me. The thought of getting dolled up tired me. Where did the weird idea to leave my couch come from? Seriously so weird.
I feel like I’m running out of time to do stupid stuff. My parents were pretty controlling when I was a teen so I didn’t get to do the dumb stuff when I was allowed to and expected to. I’m 22 already, there won’t be many more nights for me to have girly sleepovers or nights where I can just roam the town with a bunch of crazy/drunk friends for no reason. I’m the pass the age where I can do dumb and embarrassing things like streaking or illegally starting bonfires on the beach. This feeling was mostly provoked by John Greene’s book. Man, I felt soooo emo-nostalgic after reading it that I texted a bunch of my high school friends at 4 in the AM and asked them about feels and stuff. (Yeahh, my friends get a lot of random late night texts from me)
I feel inadequate. Guess I’m thinking mostly about my performance in school. I don’t think I’ve been giving it my all. I used to validate my laziness by telling myself that I’ve got lots going on with this blog and my job as an event coordinator. But I don’t think that’s a valid excuse anymore. I should be able to juggle all those things and MORE. Lately, more and more, I’ve been feeling inadequate compared to my peers who are also in the dietetics program. They all seem so bright and intelligent and full of curiosity while I’m sitting there in class trying to figure out how to use Google Rich Snippets. Totally got my priorities set straight (/sarcasm). It’s going to bite me in the arse when I realize that I actually need to retain info and know stuff after graduation.
“Ok Connie, I just read your entire life story. I want my chocolate panna cotta recipe now.”
“Sorry to put you through that bud, I just have a lot of emotions.”
If you need this chocolate panna cotta in your life asap, like right this instant, head over to Mint To Inspire to read my guest post for their dessert theme this month!