I think I’m going through an early quarter-life crisis. Things I used to value don’t matter as much anymore. The opposite is true too, things I didn’t use to value now matter more. Revelations yo.
The other day, I woke up with a sudden desire to dye my hair. I’ve always been the au naturale kinda gal so hair dye was a little foolish to me. Like why would you want to denature the proteins in your hair for appearance? I could never wrap my head around it. Then out of nowhere, with no gradual change in interest, I woke up with the biggest impulse to dye my hair. Within an hour, I already pinned a bajillion pics, found some top-notch Vancouver hair stylists through Instagram and called like 3 salons for consultations. So weird.
I want to go out. I want to go to a pub/club kinda thing. I want to blast my eardrumbs with loud electronic music that the youngins listen to these days (which I haaate) and dance (if you can even call it that) with a bunch of random sweaty people. Like what? Hooold up. I’ve always been the stay-at-home-all-day-in-my-pjs-with-a-family-sized-pack-of-chips kinda person. Going out tired me. Talking to people tired me. The thought of getting dolled up tired me. Where did the weird idea to leave my couch come from? Seriously so weird.
I feel like I’m running out of time to do stupid stuff. My parents were pretty controlling when I was a teen so I didn’t get to do the dumb stuff when I was allowed to and expected to. I’m 22 already, there won’t be many more nights for me to have girly sleepovers or nights where I can just roam the town with a bunch of crazy/drunk friends for no reason. I’m the pass the age where I can do dumb and embarrassing things like streaking or illegally starting bonfires on the beach. This feeling was mostly provoked by John Greene’s book. Man, I felt soooo emo-nostalgic after reading it that I texted a bunch of my high school friends at 4 in the AM and asked them about feels and stuff. (Yeahh, my friends get a lot of random late night texts from me)
I feel inadequate. Guess I’m thinking mostly about my performance in school. I don’t think I’ve been giving it my all. I used to validate my laziness by telling myself that I’ve got lots going on with this blog and my job as an event coordinator. But I don’t think that’s a valid excuse anymore. I should be able to juggle all those things and MORE. Lately, more and more, I’ve been feeling inadequate compared to my peers who are also in the dietetics program. They all seem so bright and intelligent and full of curiosity while I’m sitting there in class trying to figure out how to use Google Rich Snippets. Totally got my priorities set straight (/sarcasm). It’s going to bite me in the arse when I realize that I actually need to retain info and know stuff after graduation.
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“Ok Connie, I just read your entire life story. I want my chocolate panna cotta recipe now.”
“Sorry to put you through that bud, I just have a lot of emotions.”
If you need this chocolate panna cotta in your life asap, like right this instant, head over to Mint To Inspire to read my guest post for their dessert theme this month!
My advice to you is simple…all those things you want to do..DO THEM. You only get to be young and single for so long and before you know it you will be settled into family life where things like going to pubs and doing stupid stuff won’t be easily accessible. Do them, enjoy them, and then when you’re ready find your way to the next chapter. Life is always going to change and evolve like this. You were smart to get school done up front, but once you’re done you DON’T HAVE to settle into a profession right away. Life is too damn short to wonder what it’s like to do things you want to do. So I’ll say it again, DO THEM and do them ALL.
THANK YOU BRIT. I know I shouldn’t need someone to validate that for me but it is SO RELIEVING to hear you say it. A lot of the things that I want to require ditching my current life for a couple months at a time so I still have a hard time justifying it. I hate that my school stuff can’t be postponed but maybe when Im done ill travel the world, learn to motorcycle, camp at everest, swim with the dolphins, spend a week living the monk life in mayanmar and so much moreee
oh and for some reason, I can’t comment on your blog!!!
Girl you KNOW I’m having a quarterlife crisis myself–mine is sort of the opposite though. I don’t have any desire to go out and have fun I’m just terrified that I’m not doing a good enough job being a grown up and how will I provide for my future children, etc.
Anyway.
PANNA COTTA-so silky. so luxurious. so deliciouuuus
Play some jason mraz – the remedy. Makes all my worries go away everytime
You’re doing a great job at being an adult (you have a blog! only responsible adults have those) and you’re gonna have so much fun with your future children, that’s all they’ll need you to provide: love and laughter! I guess food too, but I don’t think that’ll be a problem for you and michael. Wish I could give better advice, if I were in your shoes, I’d be pretty freaked out too. But maybe freaking out is part of the journey. Your life is changing and it’s scary but you’re moving into something new and that’s something to look forward to 🙂
I totally agree with Brittany! Live every day as tho it might be your last b/c you never kno when ur time’s up! Enjoy every moment and you will never be sorry.
Hi Doreen,
First off, I love your job!!! How awesome it is that you get to chocolatour the world?! Thanks for the great advice, it’s definitely a goal of mine to get more in the present. but it’s tough when I also need to be logical and plan for my future
I know how you feel! I just turned 22 too and still trying to find some balance with my creative ambitions, school, work and somehow figuring out what I want to do after graduation. Coincidently, last week I was also thinking about how I’m “running out of time” to do dumb/immature things. I’ve been trying to be more spontaneous with the little random things because if you think about it, we’re only 22 🙂
ah so good to know im not alone in this quarter life crisis! yenno what has helped me? im taking every opportunity i can do to whatever it is. i used to let a rigid schedule get the best of me, but im learning to be more flexible
Hey Connie! Just discovered your blog and feel like I can totally relate to your life right now! I’ve just started a full time job after graduating but I feel like I still need to live my life! But going back to your Post Guatemala post, we should be grateful for what we have and live in the present 🙂 Btw, love how you pour out your thoughts in between these delicious food photos!
Hi Betty, thanks for dropping by! It’s never too late to start “living” life according to your own terms. Maybe after a year or so of working you’ll earn enough to travel stress-free and financially stable! Definitely perks to joining the workforce early!
LOL and I’m glad that you like my stories. Sometimes I feel that I share too much but that’s just how am I 🙂